Cue the rainbows and fireworks: last night, for maybe the first time ever, I RESISTED THE URGE TO LIE.
It was quite possibly the hardest thing I've ever done. And it was a good lie, too.
First, for a little background: I have a bracelet fetish. I'm never truly happy unless I have strands of silver and baubles clanging around my wrists. I love the jingling sounds they make, even though I've been told that it makes me like a cat with a bell when I trot down the halls at work.
MORE background: my official job title is Emergency Patient Registration Representative. I'm the annoying woman shoving paperwork under your nose while you have a heart attack.
Yesterday, I had to annoy a perfectly nice 11-year-old with a broken ankle, and her mother. While explaining hospital legalese, the girl informs me that she "OMG, totally loves" my bracelets for the day.
One was a silver peace-sign pattern from Aeropostale. The other is a string bracelet with little chunks of jade hanging down from it. I bought the first bracelet in the Kingsport mall; the second, I bought in a store in Taipei. So it was reasonable, really, that I had to bite my tongue from saying,
"Hey, thanks! I bought these off a Taiwanese gypsy!"
It's a good story, right? Mention gypsies, and people automatically get romantic notions about a traveling band of musicians and artisans, with whom I had to haggle in order to procure my bracelet.
Unfortunately, Googling Taiwan and gypsies doesn't turn up any results. Gypsies aren't really a thing over there. I don't have a lot of faith in 11-year-olds, but I'm pretty sure she could've figured that out. And then she would've been all disillusioned, and realized that instead of buying an awesome piece of jewelry from a 117-year-old traveling merchant, I purchased it from what was probably the Taiwanese equivalent of Aeropostale.
For once, I thought beyond the initial awesomeness of my lie. Look at me, I'm growing.
Work week ended in SUCCESS. Which brings me to my next point...
For some reason, this rotation totally kicked my oh-so-toned rear end. Also, it's snowing and COLD outside. Therefore, I probably won't venture out in the public much during my off days.
This poses a problem for blogging. The way I see things (which, I admit, is slightly unconventional), I have two options:
a.) I can lie to my mother a lot, and hope she doesn't catch on. This might be difficult, given that she's probably 50% of my readership.
b.) I can 'fess up to some of the lies I've told throughout my life. I've been lying for the past 22 years, so there's some pretty good material to work with. Also, in keeping with my resolution thing, coming clean may help purify my karmic reservoir.
Mom, get ready to hear about the moose I just saw in the front yard. Actually, I think it was a reindeer, and James Franco was riding it...
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