Football, Michael Jordan and Crying Wolf

If I had to make an honest Top 10 list of things I really, really hate, football probably ranks at #5, comfortably ensconced between SUVs and deer hunters.

Its only redeeming quality? Football movies.  I'm a sap for Any Given Sunday, Remember the Titans and my new favorite: Friday Night Lights.

(Yes, smart asses, I know it's a football TV show derived from a football movie based on a football book.  The TV show is the best incarnation, 'kay?)

Anyway, I've been marathoning that show like crazy for the last few months, and earlier tonight, kicked off the fourth season DVDs with my mom.

Approximately three minutes in, she realizes that one of the players used to be on All My Children.  And even though I love telling stories and injecting them with my cynical, smart-assed commentary, this time, I'm going to convey the discussion exactly as it happened:

Mom: Oh, that kid! Remember, he was on All My Children?  Oooohhhh, what was his character's name? Can you Google it? What's the actor's name?

Me: You can Google.  The actor's name is Michael Jordan; I know that much.

Mom: Ha, yeah, right.  Seriously, what's his name?

Me: It's Michael Jordan.  I promise you, his name is Michael Jordan.  

Mom: Ashlea.  You know I don't do sports, but even I know that Michael Jordan is a basketball player.  You're not going to tell a dumb lie just so you can blog something tonight.

Me: Mom.  Look. At. Google.  (waves phone in front of mother).

At this point, I should probably wax philosophic about how I should be alarmed that my own mother doesn't trust me to answer a simple question honestly. 

But, to be honest, I'm mostly offended that she thought I would tell such a stupid lie.  I mean, really?!  I know that my mother knows who Michael Jordan, the basketball player, is.  In fourth grade, she had to take my brother and me to see Space Jam.  Twice.

And on the off chance she didn't know, she would've Googled in two seconds, seen the incorrect response, and told me I was wrong.  There would have been no narrative to that lie, no fun story to tell, no incorrect assumption to perpetuate.

In short, it's not my style of lie at all.  Frankly, it's beneath me.






And for the record, in case anyone else is too lazy to Google, Michael B. Jordan played Reggie Montgomery on All My Children, from 2003 to 2006.  So we can all say we learned something today.